Mi vida en linea(s) / My life on line(s)

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Universo Alternativo

Lamento mucho postear esto en inglés, pero me da flojera el traducir. Para los que no les de flojera leer y lo entiendan, lo deja a uno pensando (especialmente la primera parte).

"Alan Roger Hinman, accounts manager for Gregory and Sons Plumbing and Construction, died Tuesday at the age of 56. His greatest accomplishment was to work at the same job for 20 years, and he led an otherwise undistinguished life. Due to the remarkable lack of interest in Mr. Hinman's life story, this obituary will instead detail what he accomplished in other time lines.

In one alternate universe, Mr. Hinman neglected to fill his father's station wagon's gas tank before the senior prom, and consequently needed to stop for fuel at a station on the outskirts of town, one he had previously avoided due to the somewhat higher prices and grimy exterior. While pumping the gas, he noticed a motorcycle for sale. Suddenly aware of the cool, clear night and the breadth of his life extended before him, he purchased the motorcycle with the money he had set aside for tuxedo rental, dinner and -- optimistically -- contraception.

After a couple awkward practice runs around the parking lot, Mr. Hinman rode off to see the part of America he missed growing up. (Which is to say, all of it except about two-thirds of his hometown, plus the single amusement park his family visited every year at vacation time.) Two years later, he wrote An American in America, a generation-defining quasi-fictional novel about a young man, his motorcycle, a marmoset with a really good grip, and the open road. The book was a huge critical and commercial success, and Mr. Hinman used the proceeds to buy six acres of Oregon land, living in seclusion and producing a small oeuvre of bitingly observant books on American culture.

In our universe, Mr. Hinman remembered to fill the gas tank beforehand, went to the prom and threw up twice despite not drinking any alcohol.

In another alternate time line, Mr. Hinman attended an accountancy conference at the age of 24, at which he noticed a display from a company selling "office computers" which fit snugly into a broom closet and could do the adding of 20 men. Fascinated by this new technology, he resolved to learn all he could about the devices, devouring all the literature available and soldering together simple computers at home.

Two years later, he quit his job and started H Computing, maker of the first successful home computer. Eventually his H-OPS operating system became the standard in both the business and personal world, and the Forbes "World's Richest People" list was renamed the "World's Richest People Apart From Alan Roger Hinman" list.

In our universe, Mr. Hinman saw the computer display, remembered his boss' opinion that "those demon machines will ruin the accounting business," and decided the less he knew about them the better. He resisted computers as much as he could, and sent his first e-mail in 2003.

In a third alternate universe, at the age of 40, Mr. Hinman found himself captured by the Revlians, polyp-covered aliens bent on conquering Earth. They subjected him to incredible torture in order to "learn the powers and limits of this Earth human species." In a development that would surprise anyone who knows him in our universe, these abuses only strengthened his resolve to escape, and Mr. Hinman came up with a daring plan that would later be made into an epic miniseries.

He gained control of the Revlian scout ship and landed it on the White House lawn in his haste to warn the president. For his bravery, Mr. Hinman was put in charge of the Planetary Peace Strikeforce and personally led the Battle of Somewhere Above Queensland, the decisive conflict in the war against the Revlians. He became the greatest war hero in history, and was elected three times to the post of Euro-American Premier before retiring in the face of an extremely manly scandal that only added to his mystique.

In our universe, Revlians do not exist, and alien abductions are a somewhat hackneyed and far-fetched literary device. The closest Mr. Hinman came to these events was the time he accidentally walked into the women's bathroom and, since it was empty and he really had to go, used it anyway.

He is survived by his brother and mother. Services will be held Friday."
Sacado de aca.

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~Sobre el Autor / About me~

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Soñador y filántropo (risas), no, en serio!

-= Top 3 Pelis / Movies: =-

  • Across the Universe
  • The Pursuit of Happyness
  • Crash